Rugby Mad

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

It's time like this I feel like buying a pack of cigarettes and smoking it away as I try to think my life through. It is tiring to laugh all the time and try to pretend that it will all work out. In the end I am only left with the bitter taste of disapointment again. This sounds like me whining but I'm just trying to get rid of this stuff from my back.

Nine more months to ORD. A date that I've been waiting for a fucking long time. It's nice to be working with people of different background. But so far I cannot stand working with those Chinese who are highly-educated and rich or think that they are richer than a son of a barber. They think they are always right and always try to avoid work. I don't exactly love National Service but my thinking is since I'm already in NS, why not have some fun along the way? These Chinese guys think differently. They try to avoid duty by reporting sick and only cause other people to do their duties for them.Is this a preview of working life in the future?

find a way

Sometimes I wish I could meet some people from my past again. The girl from my kindergarden, my primary school Malay teacher, people who have in their own ways steered me in this journey of life.People who I am extremely comfortable to talk to as they respect me for who I am and not what I sometimes try to pretend to be. People who do not laugh at you but with you. Real friends. People that are extremely hard to find again.

I wanted to write an e-mail to you.I wrote a draft on a piece of paper. Instead of sending it to you, I burned the paper away and watch as the ashes blew in the wind. It's too late to change things anyway.

Sorry for sounding so serious this time but I'm just tired of being me tonight.

` try scored