Rugby Mad

Sunday, September 25, 2005

It's been like ages since I smoked or drink ( for those little kids, I mean drinking alcoholic drinks. Remember kids, don't drink and drive. ) and believe me it has not been easy. It's all up to me now actually. My friends did try to tempt me but thankfully I managed to say no even though it was damn hard. It seems easier to just take the cigarette and smoke than say no to smoking. Even then, I admit I did sometimes forget and smoke but it was just a few puffs till I realize what I was doing. Other than that, I've been saving money since I don't buy cigarettes now and finally I feel a bit healthier than usual. At least now I can walk from my camp to Yew Tee Mrt without feeling breathless.

Is it okay to pretend that it is okay? I've been busy trying to find closure to somethings in my past. Sometimes you feel the world is against you and you are all alone, trying to survive each day as it comes. Everyday hoping that tomorrow will be a better day. So far, I feel I've began to accept some stuff that happened which I totally resent. This is weird but somehow it's therapeutic to write down my resentment on pieces of paper and then burn them and watch it burn to ashes. ( For little kids, do this under adult supervision. Your parents will be angry if you burn down the house.).

I'll end this post with a very serious question and I wish that you reflect on this question.

WHAT'S SMELLIER THAN A SMELLY CAT?

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Thursday, September 15, 2005

I heard your footsteps.You were following me from behind.I was supposed to stop but I carried on walking. You asked me to stop, wanting to talk to me. I just looked behind and left you there, knowing in my heart it would not be the last time I left you behind or you leaving me behind.

It's never the last time...

This website is cool. It creates anagram for your names like for example my name "Ahmad Hilmi Bin Mohd Omar" became

'Ha Ha! I'm morbid him old man.'

Check it out http://www.anagramgenius.com/server.html

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

Death sure aint a nice thing to happen to anyone.It just lead to broken hearts, unfufilled promises and a whole lot of crying.You leave everything behind when you die.Your dreams, your loved ones and everything you own. The words that you want to say will never get to be told ever.They may leave without warning but they always will be remembered.

When I die, I hope no one cries at the funeral.Life's too short to be sad.

This post is for those people who seem to have left this earth too early.

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Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I thought you are suppose to feel healthier and better if you stop smoking.Then why am I feeling fucked up? I got this runny nose and my chest hurts everytime I cough.Maybe it's cause I smoked a bit last weekend.Now I shall try to beat Jid's challenge of not smoking for one month. It may appear I'm doing this for Jid but in the end I'm doing this for myself.

I think my camp is cursed or something.When I first came, my senior looked at me seriously and asked "Do you have a girlfriend?". Of course, I said no and he looked at me with relief and said "Oh then you shouldn't have a break up then." This sounded freaking weird to me at that time and he explained to me that usually that those with girlfriends will surely break up with them within a year when they came here.The latest victims were Rashid and a new guy who just came to the camp like 3 weeks.

It's not I don't want to go but sometimes it gets a bit too much.

` try scored

Saturday, September 03, 2005

You know what's worse than trying to stop smoking and drinking. It's when you have camp mates who do not understand why you trying stop and try to tempt you to start drinking and smoking again.Imagine my surprise when I open my cupboard two days ago and there it was a box of ciggarettes with a message on it.The message was in Malay, " Hisaplah sebelum anda dihisapkan" which roughly translated to "Smoke or be smoked".Rashid was laughing when I showed it to him and with some reluctance I gave it to him. He then happily said " I know you not going to start smoking again.Hahhahaha.Yeah I don't need to buy ciggies."Damn fucker

Oh well, it's never easy to kick a habit. But I'll try to the best of my ability.Hopefully it's enough.

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