Rugby Mad

Monday, November 28, 2005

The feeling of being alone and not believing that you are in the wrong.

I was reading Isk's and Pul's blogs and it seemed that they've been up to some serious talk. I agreed that sometimes due to us being a large group, the group refering to Naz, Zam, Sham, Isk, Jid and Pul, it's hard for us to have serious conversations sometimes. I feel that for me it's easier to open up to a smaller group as I feel there's a smaller chance of being ridiculed as compared to when all of us are together. Through these years of friendship, I learnt that you can only tell certain things to certain friends. Even then there are still a lot of things I'm holding back. I guess I haven't found someone yet to confide everything to.

I don't know who is the person Isk is talking about and I don't want to guess. I just want to say that I remembered the feeling of losing my friends' friendship once and not speaking to someone cause the rest didn't. The feelings are not the best in the world. So pardon me but I'll stay out of this matter.

I learnt that I tend not to admit my mistakes even when I'm in the wrong. I didn't realize it till my Platoon Sergeant talked to me personally about it. He really opened my eyes and by exposing my weakness so easily, this has strangely left me rejunevated. It makes me more determined to face this challenge called life.

I just cut my hair recently. It looks something like when I was in my Sergeant Course. I expect to be ridiculed but I guess it's cause it's not something I would normally do. I hope to see the guys this weekend. Somehow it feels like ages since I saw any of them especially Isk.

If you're pained by desires that you cannot say, step right up and don't hold back...but I did.

` try scored