Rugby Mad

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

It's been an interesting two weeks. Needing to spend more time in camp because of other people's decision and trying to do what's right at least till I finally leave this part of my life. It's not that I hate it, in fact I think I'll miss it, but it does gets to you if you are at a place too long. Just like people.

Sometimes when you know someone for a long time, there are some things that you just naturally assume about him. That is until both of you bared your thoughts to each other and realize how wrong you could be. He was everything opposite to the person you thought he was. I rarely did bared my heart and soul to anyone. I always managed to control myself even though there were some moments I lost control and it scares me what I would do if I completely lost control.

As the deadline for my decision for the future draws near, there were instances where I seriously lost my self confidence. The last week was spent lying awake at night thinking whether what I'm doing is right or wrong. It reached a point where there was one night I need to speak to someone, anyone, to calm me down before I lose myself. It took all my willpower to just to sleep but strangely the next morning the feeling is gone. The last few days, I am finally convinced to stay on this path.

Where it will lead? I do not know but what I know I will do to the best of my abilities. I'm tired of hurting the people I cared about with my laid back attitude to life. I never want to see them dissapointed again.

` try scored