Rugby Mad

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

It feels weird to keep secrets among close friends.
it makes us drift apart

It feels weird to go out and not ask the others.
the others feel left out

It feels weird to take for granted some parts of our friendship.
believe me, it's not on purpose

It feels weird not to be able to treat you like I treat the others.
it's not you, it's me but i'm trying so hard to see things your way

It feels weird to feel wanting to walk away from this ship and never look back
but everytime i did, they gave me a reason to stay

In the end, our bonds will either grow stronger or just rust away.
Forgive me if I ever did anything wrong. Sometimes I just need reminders that I'm not perfect. I really want this to last because I never feel needed until you guys come along.

p/s: naz jid zam pul isk mad sham (my mom calls us the 7 dwarves , pul is "mat indo", naz is "oh yang gelap tu eh", isk is "si sihat", jid is "yang bawak motor", zam is "yang muka macam cina" and sham is "yang pakai tasbih"

` try scored

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Thanks for being there. Without you, these thoughts will never be revealed and these actions never fully justified. I think you know but I guess we rather enjoy the company of unspoken words and hidden meanings than to walk away and pretend we do not care. Honesty hurts when it's the truth.

It's rather dissapointing when you are the person people turn to when there's no one else to turn to. If not for our long friendship, I would rather pretend to be uncontactable than to go out with you. Now that I think about it, it's stupid of me to do what I did then. I just want you to know I will not always be there to catch you when you fall but when I do, I wish that you would have said Thanks. I would have appreciate it.

It really feels weird whenever we meet. I don't know why but I just be another person whenever you are there. There was never fully a closure to it and I thought it will turn out fine as we go along. I thought wrong. And by not reacting or saying anything, it's to avoid being labelled 'weird'. Maybe one day we'll talk about it but by then the damage is done. Sometimes I wish I'm treated the same as the others but that's before I realized that it would be selfish of me as I never treated you the same as I treated the others.

Would the world be a better place without me? If I were to die now, I wonder who the five people I'll meet in Heaven. Did I influence any people in these 21 years of life? Did I ever did anything wrong or right without knowing it? And maybe the question of why I'm still feeling lonely even when surrounded by friends will be finally answered.

Do I want to talk about it? Sure, but I'm not so sure I want to talk about it with you.

Driver Ahmad will not be available for a while. He has forgotten why he loves driving so much.

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Friday, May 19, 2006

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

An interesting quiz in which I find most of the answers fits with what I"m feeling nowadays.

` try scored