Rugby Mad

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Thanks for being there. Without you, these thoughts will never be revealed and these actions never fully justified. I think you know but I guess we rather enjoy the company of unspoken words and hidden meanings than to walk away and pretend we do not care. Honesty hurts when it's the truth.

It's rather dissapointing when you are the person people turn to when there's no one else to turn to. If not for our long friendship, I would rather pretend to be uncontactable than to go out with you. Now that I think about it, it's stupid of me to do what I did then. I just want you to know I will not always be there to catch you when you fall but when I do, I wish that you would have said Thanks. I would have appreciate it.

It really feels weird whenever we meet. I don't know why but I just be another person whenever you are there. There was never fully a closure to it and I thought it will turn out fine as we go along. I thought wrong. And by not reacting or saying anything, it's to avoid being labelled 'weird'. Maybe one day we'll talk about it but by then the damage is done. Sometimes I wish I'm treated the same as the others but that's before I realized that it would be selfish of me as I never treated you the same as I treated the others.

Would the world be a better place without me? If I were to die now, I wonder who the five people I'll meet in Heaven. Did I influence any people in these 21 years of life? Did I ever did anything wrong or right without knowing it? And maybe the question of why I'm still feeling lonely even when surrounded by friends will be finally answered.

Do I want to talk about it? Sure, but I'm not so sure I want to talk about it with you.

Driver Ahmad will not be available for a while. He has forgotten why he loves driving so much.

` try scored